The Most Ridiculous Optional Extras For New Cars
The long list of optional extras is always something to think about when you get a new car. Privacy glass, a fridge, 360° cameras, night vision, the list of optional extras these days is almost endless. Usually, they are convenient and make your driving experience easier, safer or more enjoyable should you wish to pay for them.
But there are a few optional extras that are utterly ridiculous. Here are some you probably won’t know about…
Fiat 500 – Make Up Holder – £52.92
Lets start with a bargain at £52.92. For that, you girls get a “stylish” leather make-up holder for all your, well, make-up we assume. Perfect for doing your lippy on the go.
Fiat 500L – Lavazza 500 Espresso Machine – £169
Yep, those crazy Italians again, and have you ever been so thirsty while driving and been nowhere near any possible place which may supply a coffee? Well we’ve found the accessory for you. It’s a steal at just £169 for a sip of warm coffee in your car every morning! (So long as it’s stationary and running for at least 2 minutes.)
You get a few Lavazza pods to start with, but then you need to supply your own water and subsequent pods after they’ve run out. To be fair you may save yourself a big of cash if you’re a heavy motorway coffee drinker in the long run though so this one may not be quite so pointless as the following.
Any Inbuilt Satnav Option – £500+
Nowadays you can buy an excellent handheld satnav for less than £100 with lifetime map updates, or just use your smartphone. So why spend upwards of £500 on something else?
Rolls-Royce Starlight Headliner – £12,350
One of the most beautiful and decedent things ever, I’m sure you’ll agree. For the price of many new small cars you can have over 4,000 individual optic fibres woven into your headlining for the pleasure of rear seat passengers. We’ve seen this being installed firsthand at Goodwood and it really is the pinnacle of precision and craft. A couple of special edition cars were even produced in collaboration with observatories to show the night sky on a specific past date, but for the sake of price…how about you just look out the window at the actual stars?
Vauxhall Adam – Stars Illuminated Headliner – £335
So you’ve seen the best (Rolls-Royce), now see the rest. You know when you were a kid and your parents were driving at night, and you’d be using your Gameboy or some kind of game that emitted some form of light and your dad would tell you to stop as it’s distracting him from driving? Well you can now have that on every night drive with the Stars Illuminated Headliner in the little Vauxhall Adam.
Mercedes E-Class and S-Class – Heated Armrests – £530
For all those mornings when your elbows just won’t heat up on their own. £530 well spent.
Porsche 911 – Leather Trimmed Air Vents – £830
Technically this is the “Extended Interior package Dashboard Trim in Leather”. What you get for the small sum of £830, in addition to your already hefty price tag of £76,500 is; Dashboard end trim, windscreen defroster panel, instrument surround upper section, side defroster vents centre dashboard upper section trim in interior colour smooth-finish leather with partial decorative stitching. Fancy. Just don’t blast your heater too hot.
Jaguar F-Pace – Keyless Bracelet Comes with sporting pack at £878
If you enjoy going out and about but don’t want those annoying keys jingling in your pocket then upgrade your £35,000 car to the Sport level trim and get yourself a microchip in a bracelet.
Not only will you never have to worry about your keys poking you anymore, but you also get a super stylish accessory to look like the cool kid on the block while you’re out hiking, or whatever it is cool kids do these days. As an alternative, use a key.
MINI Convertible – Rain Warner – £1,620
This ‘handy’ gadget tells you when it’s about to rain if you have your roof down. For £1,620, I think I’ll just look up.
TESLA Model S/X Bioweapon Defence Mode – £2,600
For all your end of the world preparation needs. To be fair, air pollution is and will continue to be an issue. TESLA have created a system which cleans the air within the vehicle (as well as the outside air??) keeping you safe from pollutants. Great for traffic jams in the middle of dirty cities but it feels a little superfluous if a bio-attack does occur. Do you just live in your car and hope you have enough rations so you never have to step out? Or do you just give yourself an extra week or two to live while the rest of us slowly suffocate?
Rolls-Royce Phantom Cool Bag – £4,000
No explaining needed for this one. Maplin do something similar for £29.99
Range Rover SV Autobiography Event Seating – £5,900
On the one hand, this is an novel idea. If you make a habit of travelling in muddy fields to go see live bands or need some seating to watch darling little Francesca and Henry on sports day, then this is the option for you. And what better car to have it than on the one you’ve spent upwards of £132,800 from Land Rover’s Special Vehicle Operations section? Why not dump another £5,900 into it for a couple of chairs hooked on the back? I’ll tell you why not – because you can buy a couple of fold up chairs for a fiver each from Wilko and save yourself £5,890.
Better yet, just sit on the lip of the boot like a normal person. That’s free.
Audi Bang & Olufsen speakers – £5,565
I’m a bit on the fence with this one. I can see why one might call it ridiculous but I can’t really have an impartial opinion because of the fact that whoever ordered the car I currently own and drive new, ticked this particular option box. It’s an option for real music lovers and for drivers who wish to drown out any sound apart from the stereo. For your £5,565 you get 19 speakers, each one with its own amplifier, and a subwoofer under each seat.
Aston Martin Jaeger-Le Coultre Amvox2 DB2 Transponder Watch – £12,426
For all you Bond fans out there. If you want to look super cool fiddling with your watch to open your doors without the use of your keys (which you still actually need to drive the car) then this is the watch for you. It also has a “find me” function, where the headlights turn on for a few seconds so even the most forgetful of Bonds will be able to find their car.
Bentley Bentayga Fishing Kit – £80,000
We can always rely on Bentley for some crazy optional extras and an £80,000 fully branded fishing kit is what you can spec in your new Bentayga. Perfect for all you keen anglers out there. Granted, fishing kit can be super expensive and as a nobody in the world of fishing, I couldn’t tell you whether it was a decent rod or not, but for 80 grand I’d bloody want it to be.
Bentley Bentayga Mulliner Tourbillion clock – £117,000
Yep. That’s right. £117,000 for a Brietling clock on your dashboard. I wanted to research what was so special about this thing, because that amount of money on a clock in a car is absurd. Basically, it’s made from solid gold (white or rose, your choice) with mother-of-pearl or black ebony face, and 8 diamond indexes. Why not 12? It’s a clock after all, right?
But if you’re happy to shell out £80k on some fishing gear then who are we to comment if you wish to spend £117k on a clock.
Bugatti Veyron Carbon Finish – £250,000
Essentially, you’re paying a quarter of a million quid for Bugatti not to paint your car and give it a bit of a gloss instead.
Oh, and yes, that roof box on the Koenigsegg Agera is a thing.